The lights are dimmed, your inhibitions loosened, the passion turned all the way up. It’s nights like these when the last thing you want is to go through the motions of your typical vanilla sex routine—which you and your girlfriend have both gotten down to a scientifically precise 12 minutes to climax. There’s nothing wrong with knowing what works for you, but switching things up every now and again is crucial for a healthy, exciting, fun sex life.
Whether you want to spice things up with your long-term girlfriend or you’ve slept with a woman only a handful of times and want to take your next date to new heights, we enlisted experts to highlight seven unexpected sex moves that’ll get you both off every time.
1. Kick things off vertically.
Sex starts with seduction. Tend to skip that step? Allow us to repeat ourselves: Sex starts with seduction. “Before you hit a horizontal surface, come up to her so close you can feel her body’s radiant heat. Softly grab the back of her head and pull her face so close to yours your lips are barely touching,” says sex therapist Gloria Brame, author of Sex for Grown-Ups. Next, whisper something sexy (“You know I love you” or “You make me so hot,” are good places to start, says Brame). Many people forget the importance of vertical foreplay when getting busy, so she’ll find this a surprising kickoff.
2. Heat things up with your hand.
“Stand there, body to body, until your breasts and hips are mashed together tight,” suggests Brame. As you’re doing this, try slipping your hand between your pressed-up bodies.
3. Facing each other, straddle your partner while she’s reclining on her back.
Peace out, missionary rut: “Use your legs to rock back and forth. You’ll put friction on her clitoris and her pubic mound area,” offers Shannon Chavez, a psychologist and certified sex therapist in Los Angeles. “This position is great for using legs and arms for different angles while making eye contact with your partner to enhance your connection. You can stroke and massage your partner’s breasts while rocking back and forth.” To up the intensity, try switching positions so you and your partner both get to experience the thrill of being in control.
4. Try a steamy reach-around.
Getting her moaning with pleasure from a new move can be a challenge—especially if you’ve been together for a while (though ditto for navigating the sensitivities of a new partner’s bod). Up for it? “While you have your legs wrapped around your partner from behind [so you’re both facing the same direction], use your other hand to stimulate her clitoris. You can also use your hands to provide different forms of pleasure,” says Chavez. Meanwhile, allow your partner to explore your vulva area with her fingertips and rub your inner thighs. “This position is great for using hands and hips for different types of stimulation.”
5. Introduce sex toys.
A fast track to driving your lady 50 shades of crazy: “Use a device like the Feeldoe to add different forms of pleasure in one device with multiple options for stimulation,” suggests Chavez. “It’s a strapless strap-on with scalloped ridges to massage your partner’s clitoris while inserting the bulbous end vaginally.” Basically, its ridges will stimulate the clitoris, while the end works to arouse you like a dildo does. ”The device provides G-spot, clitoral, and friction against the pubic mound for multiple opportunities of pleasure.” Yes, we know there are sexier words than “pubic mound’ and “friction,” but this raunchy toy is a fun way to zoom in on what sends each other over the edge.
6. Get busy with a tennis ball (or other household object) between you.
We’re aware the word “hump” doesn’t rank up there with the sexiest dirty talk, but there’s perhaps no better way for some women to get off than sticking to this MO: “Pressure just under the pubic bone (her mound down to her vagina) indirectly stimulates the clit from outside the body,” says Brame. “It doesn’t have to be a penis-shaped thing; [it] could be as simple as a tennis ball. Then, roll and grind your hips against her genitals to increase the pressure on her parts.” Or, if dildos are what you’re both into, insert one end of a double dildo into yourself while massaging her gently from behind with the other end.
7. Don’t forget to kiss spots besides those between her legs.
Sex usually puts the focus on traditional erotic zones, but—friendly reminder!—people love being kissed elsewhere. “Don’t forget to kiss and touch all her other sensitive places, especially lips, neck, and breasts,” says Brame. “[Feeling her excitement] will give you the exact same buzzy joy she’s getting from your tongue action.” Feeling adventurous? Try eliciting her arousal by exploring these seven surprising erogenous zones you didn’t know you had.